Before You Publish: Look Up Before You Scroll

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There is something about social media that has made a lot of us feel like we are supposed to be everywhere except where we actually are.

We know who posted what. We know who liked it. We know who commented, who did not comment, who unfollowed whom, who was tagged somewhere they were not supposed to be, and who may or may not be sending private messages behind the scenes.

We can tell you what happened at a restaurant across town, who was seen with whom, what somebody’s cousin said in a Facebook comment, and exactly how long it took for a certain post to disappear.

And somewhere along the way, a lot of grown people with spouses, children, homes, jobs, families, and entire lives right in front of them became full-time reporters on everybody else’s.

I do not mean that people should never use social media. I use it. I write. I share my work. I enjoy seeing pictures of people’s children, celebrations, new homes, graduations, birthdays, funny stories, and the ordinary pieces of life people choose to put out into the world.

Social media can be a good thing. It can keep people connected. It can let us celebrate one another. It can help a small business grow. It can bring encouragement to somebody having a hard day. It can even make us laugh when the world feels too heavy.

But there is a difference between enjoying social media and becoming consumed by it.

There is a difference between checking in with people and monitoring them. There is a difference between keeping up with friends and keeping score. There is a difference between seeing a post and building an entire story around it before you know what is true. There is a difference between checking in every few days on social media vs. every few hours. I’m sorry but I’m going to be blunt, If you are above the age of thirty with children, you absolutely should not be checking social media every few hours, that is sad and I guarantee you are missing alot of life and love. Wake up.

What boggles my mind is how easily adults can get pulled into it. People with families to love, children who need their attention, marriages that need tending, friendships that need real conversation, and homes full of moments that will not wait forever can still spend hours watching, reacting, reporting, screenshotting, and discussing what somebody else decided to publish online.

At some point, we have to ask ourselves what we are missing while we are busy looking at everyone else.

Are we hearing our children when they are trying to tell us something? Are we noticing when our spouse has had a hard day? Are we sitting with the people we love without one hand on a phone and one eye on the next notification? Are we making memories, or are we just collecting evidence of everyone else’s?

Because life is happening in the rooms we are standing in.

It is happening at the dinner table while somebody is telling a story nobody will remember correctly later. It is happening in the car when your child suddenly says something important while you are halfway to the grocery store. It is happening in the living room when everybody is tired, the house is a mess, and you are all finally sitting still for a few minutes at the end of the day.

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Those moments may not be polished enough to post. They may not have the right lighting, the right caption, or enough drama to attract attention.

But they are real.

They are the moments that become the stories your children remember. They are the moments that make a family feel like a family. They are the little pieces of ordinary life that matter more than whatever somebody posted, deleted, commented on, or sent in a private message that afternoon.

Before you publish, it is worth asking what you are hoping to accomplish. Are you sharing something because it adds joy, connection, humor, encouragement, or meaning? Or are you posting because you want a reaction? Are you commenting because you have something kind or useful to say, or because you want to be part of the noise?

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And before you report back to someone else about what you saw online, it may be worth asking whether the information actually belongs to you at all.

Not every post is an invitation to investigate. Not every picture is a clue. Not every comment needs an audience beyond the people already involved. Sometimes a person’s life is just a person’s life, and it does not need to become a group discussion by people who were never in the room.

I think we would all be better off if we looked up a little more often.

Look at the people beside you. Look at the child who wants your attention. Look at the spouse who may need a conversation instead of a distracted “uh-huh” from across the couch.

Look at the friend sitting in front of you instead of the stranger whose life you have been following through a screen.

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The world does not need more people obsessively reporting on what everyone else is doing.

It needs more people who are present where they are.

It needs parents who notice. Families who talk.

Friends who listen. Spouses who look up.

People who know how to put the phone down long enough to see the life they are living while it is still happening.

Before you publish, before you comment, before you screenshot, before you report back, take a second to look around.

There may be something far more important waiting for your attention than whatever is happening on Facebook.

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Judith L. Hampton

Attorney-at-Law

Hampton Law Firm